Luvenia Johnson, LMSW; Spotlight on Leaders

What Does this Episode Provide to Listeners

In this episode of “Spotlight on Leaders,” we hear some of the most helpful, wide-ranging insights and advice from a true leader in all of the categories (family, community and business).

A 15 year veteran of the Social Work field, Luvenia Johnson, shares some of her own background, hopes and resources. My feelings hit each stop on the spectrum during my time with Luvenia - happiness, anger, sadness, hope… I got them all, and I think you will, too.

In addition to Luvenia’s general human excellence and leadership, Luvenia provides a strong voice for female empowerment, African American cultural taboo topics, mental health advocacy, resource awareness and single provider households. People that are interested in or in need of family or parenting leadership tips, general inspiration, food, or mental health support will get value out of listening to this! 

Luvenia, admittedly, overcame odds that were undoubtedly stacked against her. From a household of a single provider who worked 3 jobs, she herself became a mother in high school and experienced deep trauma in her path to the human she is today. 

The love of her children kept her church and the support of her community kept Luvenia focused. 

Luvenia is currently wrapping-up a very successful and rewarding tenure as an LMSW with Foundation Health Partners, in Fairbanks, Alaska. Her next step is as an entrepreneur and she lets us in on some of what’s next for her!


Connect with Luvenia Johnson

Email: luvenia@aol.com , Subject Line: Heard Your Podcast

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/luveniajohnsonlmsw/ 

National Association of Social Workers; Alaska Chapter: https://naswak.socialworkers.org/About/Leadership 

Donate or find help: https://linktr.ee/leaders_donate 

Shout outs

Foundation Health Partners: https://www.foundationhealth.org/about_us 

Suicide Hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

Become a Social Worker: https://socialworklicensure.org/articles/become-a-social-worker/ 

Connect with Common Leaders
trevor@commonleaders.com

562-528-0234

https://linktr.ee/commonleaders

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Transcript

Trevor: 0:44

All right. Common leaders. Welcome to today's podcast interview. I am very excited to welcome Levenia Johnson, who is a spotlight on the leader nominee. And it's an especially neat situation because Lavenia is the submission from our first interview with Tony, who we talked to and posted about a month and a half ago, we have to catch up with Tony again sometime soon, because that wasn't my greatest quality ever. But Tony then went on to submit his mother Lavenia as a spotlight on leader. And Antonio had, I call him many names, Antonio, Tony. He goes by a lot of things, but he had some really, really cool things to say about his mom. Levenia and I was so excited to meet her. And I'm so excited for us to meet her, but I want to introduce her by using a few of Tony's words. So. The first question in the submission form is where does this person inspire you? And for Tony that was within family. Now I will precursor this to say, Lavinia has a lot of really cool things going on. So it's possible and likely we might veer off the family leadership here and there because she's got a lot of cool things to offer, I think, um, and the next question was what sets this person apart as a leader for you? And he wrote, despite all the trials and tribulations Lavinia experienced at an early age, she not only provided on the clock, parental guidance, 24 7. She also improved a generational lack of education and sense of providing, uh, with having a career and the most helpful things that she did for Tony were to continue being a leadership role model and being a representation of life success in elevation. The best advice Tony has gotten from Levenia is be true to yourself. And you will see the truth and others. And the award that Tony would like to name after his mother Lavinia is the dual parenting award. that is coming from a guy who is not just a dual parent. He's about a quadruple parent depending on the day. So, uh, that's a pretty cool one. And he added a little bit of context. He said it takes a lot of patience, determination, love, and confidence for a single mother to raise two males in America. during a time with little to no resources or guidance. Linnea has rose to every occasion, willing and sacrificed to ensure all her children had the best life imaginable. And the best memory he has to share is that being Levenia son and reaching success as the greatest memory he has, because I know he continues to lean heavily on. Your influence Lavinia. I know that that's happened since an early age, so it's a real real honor to have you here. Welcome. Levenia. How are you doing today?

Luvenia: 3:38

Thank you, Trevor. It's a pleasure. Oh, wow. That brought tears to my tone. And I don't talk much about our NFL. So awhile that.

Trevor: 3:53

Well, I'm, I'm glad that he shared it and that we had a chance to share that with you. He talks glowingly about you all the time. So if your ears are ever ringing, there's a good chance that it's Tony telling, however, everyone, how much he loves his mom. Uh, but also how much advice he gets. I would say that's the thing he talks about the most. Um, in my time with him is just how important your connection is with him and both of your similarities and your differences, where you push each other, where you've pushed each other over the years. Um, and I think an awful lot of Mr. Antonio, Tony, Brittany Johnson. So it's

Luvenia: 4:34

Yeah.

Trevor: 4:35

one of the greatest honors I've gotten to have is to meet him. So to get, to meet the person he calls mom, A really, really big deal for me. I'm so excited to have you here. Uh, I would like to start with, maybe you just sharing a little bit about what he's talking about he submitted and wrote that things in the shortest way possible were tough early on for you as a single mother and with maybe not having a ton of resources at your disposal. Um, would you be willing to share a little bit about what he's saying there and what that means to you and how you were overcoming that as you went?

Luvenia: 5:14

Yes. Wow. So many memories. I think sometime I choose the block or suppress would be the clinical term. I grew up in a single mother household, myself, my mother raised six childrens with novel, just having the same fathers. She worked long hours, 16 plus hours per day, earning$2 and something an hour. I mean,

Trevor: 5:43

Wow.

Luvenia: 5:44

grew up on a femoral who a women's struggle period. Most of the females were single moms and re received support through his Sidney family members, especially the grandparents. I have so much love and respect for both my maternal and paternal grandmother, because they was the head of the households that I witnessed that I, that was my role models and telling yo changed my life. I was 18 years old, senior in high school, mom working a part time job. I think. Becoming a single mom became a motivator factor for me because I didn't only have to care for myself. I had to care for this little one who had no resources, no skills with caring for the self. So my focus became my child. When things got hard and difficult, I knew I had to make a way for this infant male and give him the best life, the best opportunity I survived and chance that no one else would be able to afford. And it had to be something greater than love. I mean, love was the centerpiece, but I had to afford an opportunity for this child, this male African-American child strive in a world that most African-American males, the odds was against.

Trevor: 7:19

Hm.

Luvenia: 7:20

I. Blindly, but through faith started that journey. Um, I was 18. I gave birth in January and I wasn't scheduled to graduate high school in may. And my mother had made it clear that I had this baby. I had to raise this baby and how I was going to complete high school was unknown,

Trevor: 7:47

That sounds

Luvenia: 7:48

I knew I had to graduate the at all because I knew I had to graduate high school if I was to survive. So he became my focus. He became my hope, my inspiration, my best friend, through faith determination. And looking into those dark eyes always seem to want with something I stayed for. It was just like every time I gave up. He was staring at me saying, but my me, me, what about me?

Trevor: 8:25

Yeah. Yeah.

Luvenia: 8:27

was just that connection that I graduated high school and no goals, no plans, no ideas. I didn't really have anyone to talk to, to help me determine the next step. So I found myself talking to this infant quite often in unspoken words. Let's a lot we have now. We don't have to talk. When I say we I'm referring to Tony and I tell him I don't have

Trevor: 8:55

Yeah.

Luvenia: 8:56

to communicate Feel what the other one is feeling is just those unspoken words. That's then a guy. And I'm very grateful that he came into my life. think I'd be where I'm at now. If I haven't given birth to that.

Trevor: 9:16

Well, I, uh, I resonate with that also. I appreciate you sharing such early and I'm sure hard memories to look back on. Uh, but I can tell you from the experience now, 30, almost 34, uh, 34 years later, that he has had a, a similar impact on a lot of people, including me. So, uh, I'm also glad that you took all of that on, um, that's a lot for a 17 year old, 18 year old. I just, I can't imagine, I can't imagine doing it at 33, let alone at 17 or 18 and, and, and kind of being thrown to the fire. It sounds like you, you. In those early days, probably I'm imagining like this, this kid, that's you right at 18, you were a kid with your eyes kind of closed. Just reaching out, looking for anything to grasp onto, help pull yourself forward. And it sounds like frequently, that was just him.

Luvenia: 10:23

I think one of the amazing difference is I had some supports. I had my grandmother, my paternal grandmother, cause my maternal grandmother deceased when I was 15, she taught me my maternal grandmother taught me a lot of the basic of life, how to cook, how to prepare for hard times, how to, to know when to ask for help. But then she was taken away from me. And I don't say that regrettably, because my maternal grandmother loved the world. I'm talking about a lady that take a five pound bag of flour and come make a feast and feed thousands of people. And she never said no to. So I'm very grateful for having her in my life. At 15 years,

Trevor: 11:17

no

Luvenia: 11:17

I grew up in a very stereotype environment, what children were told what to do. So you didn't get a voice you did, as you was told, and you kept your head beneath the surface to be insane because you were safe there. That was a safe zone. And that was a zone that you cross that potentially you was going to be punished. And for me, some of that came with the heritage of my family being associated with slavery. My grandfather grew up in an era of law. All those slavery had ended in the south. It was still rooted in the culture. So you did enough to get by, but not be punished. I see. Whereas my paternal family, well, more of a middle-class family. You had the opportunity to have a voice. He was somebody and children was very integrated in my paternal family. Whereas the children came first. Whereas in my maternal family, it felt like the adults came first. So I grew up living between two different worlds that time.

Trevor: 12:34

too. It sounds like two wildly different worlds in terms of like where you found yourself as about to raise a child, which, way do you lean, where did you feel like one was, as you look back that one side of that was more. Uh, impactful and you getting on your feet at least because I'm sure it changed throughout the years. What approach was most appropriate for the boys, but got you through those early days? Was it or paternal paternal approach?

Luvenia: 13:06

I think it was a balance of the two.

Trevor: 13:10

Um,

Luvenia: 13:11

I mean, growing up in Southern Georgia, south Georgia, as we call it rural south Georgia at that I wasn't predicted to be where I'm at today. I should have been a typical welfare mother growing up on low income household government assistance. Yeah. I grew up in a family where you work hard. You didn't take handouts. My mother struggled, but she never became a where for a mom. She always worked. I mean to work 16 hours, seven days a week sometimes, and not see your children four weeks in, I think had to be hard for her, but she had to make some tough sacrifices based upon the sacrifices she made at an early age. having my grandmother's dad helped raise me and live in between. I remember some days wishing that I can go be with my paternal grandmother because I didn't have to do anything. Whereas when I was with my maternal family, I had to work at eight years old, eight years of age, I was working in a tobacco field. I picked up pecans. I picked up point after the corn harvest to help support the. So work was installed in me very young, and I knew that there was no job that was too big when I was with my photography

Trevor: 14:45

been in the fields, there's nothing that's too messy.

Luvenia: 14:48

and to tell my paternal grandfather that I'm tired and that's too big. I have got what we call quote, a whipping that would last for days because you probably couldn't sit down today would probably be considered child abuse back then it was considered raising the family and keep your order in the household. So when I gave birth to Antonio, it didn't come with the luxury. It came with the idea I got to work harder. So when I look back at my upbringing, in my history and becoming a mother at 18, I knew I had to work on. Find it, because I look at Tony career and a part of me wonder if a lot of things he tells what my dreams, because when I graduated high school, I wanted to go into the Navy. The Navy was going to be my escape from my world, but I learned I was pregnant. So that was while I still could have went into the Navy, but they wanted me to give up as to of my child. And that was the second time someone put that option in my face. And that hurt me to the core. That's when I grew up at my age, if you had babies, most often, you gave those baby to a relative or that baby was adopted out of the family. And my senior year high school was the first year that the high school incorporate a class about parenting gave pregnant young ladies the opportunity to graduate. And this was in 1988, not too far behind So I want people to bear in mind 1988, the odds of a pregnant single yo graduated high school was not, was very hard if you didn't have family support. And that was the first year that the high school incorporated a program that allowed that to exist. So when, as a ton of your grow, as a, if it into school age, he was always given two choices with, for his academics. He can Excel academically and go to college, or he could graduate high school and go into the military. So those are the only two choices out of a hat. So when people were asking, going up, what are you going to do with July? He'll be like, I'm going to college. If I can't go to college, I'm going into the military. So it was like, I planted my dreams in my two. And it took me years as an adult to separate what are my dreams and what are my kids' dream, and to allow my child to be an adult, to make those decisions.

Trevor: 17:38

That I would think is extremely hard parents all over, regardless of circumstances, to separate those things. I think about that as an I'm not a parent, but I think about like, what would be the most cool part about being a parent? It would definitely be helping them through all the things that I wish I was better at, or didn't have the chance to do so, to be able to resist that, although you planted it and the hard work as you were talking about how hard you worked as a kid, a young kid, and also how hard your, your, your mom's family works like that definitely, that seems to have been passed down to the, to your relatives that I know in that, that, that man works. there is nothing he won't take on, nothing.

Luvenia: 18:26

funny because all of my life, all I knew was work even after I had Antonio and my second son, Devon, all I knew was work. I was new. I wanted to go back to college. That that was something more I wanted to do in that one period, raising my son as a single parent. And it was at the, separated from my significant other 14 years. I worked three jobs in. I have a full-time job in the manufacturing company. I work part-time for a local restaurant that I've managed. And I worked into a supermarket that sells seafood, but I was working on my associate's degree at the same time. The day I graduated with my associate degree, I realized I had just earned my first degree. I graduated that morning. I don't know. I worked that Saturday, that Friday night, Saturday morning, I worked at the manufacturing company. I went to graduation that morning. I left graduation and went to a part-time job

Trevor: 19:30

Wow.

Luvenia: 19:31

and I sit back now and I laugh because I can't believe it.

Trevor: 19:35

Wow. any one of those three things that day to put off or to not attend, and you showed up for all of them, which is pretty impressive, to say the very least, and I think it's a good moment. I love shout outs and to just shout out you and the single moms and the single parents all over it that are doing. That way and taking the hard road, for the hope of the future. I think it's excellent. So out fist pump around of applause, all the things to early single parents that paved the way. And, um, I hope that someone can listen to you in this conversation, just, just in general and, and find it within them to, uh, to dig for whatever they're after. You know, everybody gets to define that. but I can't imagine how tough that is in that position to decide that you want to go back to school,

Luvenia: 20:31

I think about it. Um, I had some great classmates growing up in high school. I got to give a shout out to class at 88 TIFF kind of high school. I mean, I had some awesome classmates who I still stay connected with today. Many of them, um, many of my classmates.

Trevor: 20:50

Um,

Luvenia: 20:51

I can say what true friends. They didn't judge me for my mistakes. They encourage me. I remember minimums and all living a year overcome that. You're too smart. You're going to do great with that. No one does have scared. I was, I mean, I presented with the smile. I still carrying on like an 18 year old, but there was a lot of fear that I had to suppress. And I can remember,

Trevor: 21:31

it's scary to hear.

Luvenia: 21:34

I can remember some nights just walk in at two, three in the morning, wondering what am I going to do? Who am I what's next? And people say, wow, that can't be too bad. You grew up in south Georgia. It was still an era when drugs. Holly infesting, our communities and sex trafficking. Wasn't talked about as much as it is today, but it existed, but it was also a time that allowed me to reflect upon what am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing? What can I do at one point in my life, I tried to befriend other single young moms, imitate their lifestyle and think about getting on government assistance. And I met a young man back then. It may, within a couple of months of that relationship made it clear to me that the path I was leading was not the path for me. And I commend me, him telling me he's deceased now said, you're going to get hurt if you don't go back and live the life he was raised. You're not a street lady, you know, nothing about the streets, go back to your little bubble. And that's when I met my significant other. Who's the father of my youngest son. It started to cohabitate. I think with him, I was looking for my father, although I had my father. I mean, my father served in the military. He had another family, but he was still a part of my life. He was always present. When I think about my father is now deceased with a lot of respect for my dad I have a lot of respect for my father. It had to be difficult trying to have a second family yet be a part of your first family and serve in the military, but he made it a mission in part of his life that during those special moments he would be present. He's the one person that I can remember being at all of my graduates. And when I say graduation, I mean high school college. When I graduated high school, he was present. When I earned my associate degree, he was present when I earned my bachelor's degree, he was present and I earned my master's after he passed away. But I know he was present with me in spirit. What I remember the most about my father is when I needed him the most, he was always there. And I sort of look at my sons in that same light when it came to their fathers, although their fathers couldn't be a part of that everyday life, I would pick up the phone and call on those moments. I thought it meant the most well it's telling to don't crop a lot about his father, because there was a lot of history there. We were both very young when we could see Antonio. And I think his father had a lot of going up to do over the years. That they didn't establish a father, son relationship. Like most typical people will want to see. But the one thing I tried to teach Antonio was you have to love unconditionally, including your father. It may not be the best relationship, but he's your father. And I think that's the same thing. My grandmother and my mother taught me about my father is he may not be present, but he's still there. But I think the hard part growing up when I look at it is realizing the one key piece that was missing in my life that male role model. And what difference that potentially could have made me as a young single man. I had, I don't like to talk about my life.

Trevor: 25:42

Yeah.

Luvenia: 25:42

tend to avoid it. You can ask me about everything else except me. So it's hard for me to stay on.

Trevor: 25:50

Well, don't say anything you don't want to say.

Luvenia: 25:53

It's hard for me to say about me when I talk about suppress feelings. I know the consequences behind that because I am a licensed social worker. I know that if you don't deal with a lot of that trauma that tends to, oh, it's going to come back. And so internally, I think I'm dealing with it. What as publicly, I don't talk so much about it. I mean, my history is a part of why I'm at where I'm at today and it's the. Go behind me starting my own agency. I hands up console and services because I want people to be able to tap into resources. That's going to lift them from the things that have held them back in life.

Trevor: 26:46

it occurs to me that part of. What you chose as a, is a profession in social work is, we can talk about social work for days because I think it's such a fascinating, and in I think it's in a lot of ways a respected field, but it's devalued. It's not valued enough, um, in society for what it does. It's not under study either.

Luvenia: 27:12

Thank you.

Trevor: 27:12

super, well, it doesn't seem like, but he, uh, it occurs to me that that is almost like a missing link. That if you were to go back in time with everything, you know, now and say anything to yourself that you, you wouldn't be able to say just one thing, you would be able to provide all these resources to your 18 year old self to say, these are the things you can do. And I know this is going to be hard because you're going to have to accept, help, which it sounds like you didn't enjoy doing at that age. Uh, but these things not make you softer. It will just make the path easier. reading into that a little, but is that how you would describe the services that you understand now, as it relates to someone who is in a similar

Luvenia: 28:02

Yes. I mean, I think that's a perfect description. Um, I remember the first time I learned about social work was. It was in the mid eighties and something happened in Chicago and it involved the social worker. And I wish today I could always go back and grab that article. And I don't quite remember six o'clock news was must in my household. I don't care what you was doing. Everybody was going to watch the six o'clock news and something happened in Chicago with some big all of the media. And that was a social growth, became a key component to solving that crisis. And she was going into homes, helping families. And I remember wishing I could be that later. I could be that person. I can do that.

Trevor: 28:50

Hmm.

Luvenia: 28:51

what I was thinking about at that

Trevor: 28:53

Hm.

Luvenia: 28:55

how can I change my own childhood? How can I stop my cousins from being raped? Uh, Then targeted by family members. How can I prevent my mom had to work so many hours, so I don't have to raise my siblings. And I remember just escaping for a time into what that person was doing. Almost putting myself in the role of that person and all of the role of me. And I never forgot that

Trevor: 29:30

Yeah.

Luvenia: 29:31

I can remember I was in the ninth grade. Yeah, because when I was growing up in the high school, eighth and ninth graders went to a school together, college, junior high in 10th and 12th were high school. My freshman year in my language art class, I had to write a paper and it was a short poem and I chose to write about escape and it was based upon what I had seen on the news, but my narrative. Lam beneath a tree in this green space where the grass ballad group, but it was like soft carpet. You didn't have to cut it, but you can relax there. And it was a place where I could go to this day dream. And in those dreams I could escape my world. So for years, my life became that imaginary vision of what it could be. But by having that vision and that place to escape in my mind, it became a motivator factor to move me through those different circumstances. As I transitioned into the person I am today.

Trevor: 30:50

Wow. That is a, a big vision to have, for yourself. And it sounds like you managed to do the thing that a lot of people struggle with. I think when they're trying to. Uh, you know, a variety of trauma, which is the, the escaping turns into sometimes avoidance of the whole thing. And so you, you live in your, your fairytale dream of, of what you'd like to be doing or what you hope to be doing without having the, the push to go then chase it. Was there any big factor or other people? What, what set the difference for you? Because that's something even I've, you know, speaking for myself, I've struggled with, but I think a lot of people struggle, especially with, um, with Tufts circumstances. You know, you can pick on addiction, but you gotta pick on, a variety of circumstances where have the image of what it could be of the better, but you've spent so much time thinking about what it could be, that you don't actually address anything to move it forward. Was there anything that helped push you out of that?

Luvenia: 31:58

I would say my children, um, I mean, Antonio been a single mom with one child was easy. I won't say easy, but not as complicated because I did have support with Antonio. He has a bond with his grandpa.

Trevor: 32:14

Hmm.

Luvenia: 32:14

Mr. Rogers is not deceased forever. Be my best friend. I always call him my father-in-law because no matter what Antonio was his child. And if I didn't have it meant Antonio didn't have, which his grandfather was not going to a lie. I mean, but then having my second child a different story because now I'm parenting two children with almost eight years between these kids and at the height in the relationship that had turned happiness to violence and being too afraid to escape that relationship because you didn't want to appear to be a failure again, but just having those two little innocent faces to look at me, And without saying the word saying, I need you, I need you. It allowed me not to get lost in my thoughts and face reality.

Trevor: 33:29

Hm.

Luvenia: 33:30

And that's what I've tried to do when I'm working with others. It's okay to dream in the, have those thoughts, but you can't get lost in them. You still have to deal with reality. And how do you deal with them? Yell at it, to get to where you want to be. What happened for me is I took a job in a manufacturing company I've worked for about 10 years throughout my career. You'll learn. I never stayed with the agency very long. I still haven't reached that era. What I can be committed to things for long-term. I'll let you get so close before I break up with you and move on to the next, I mean, I think that's still a part of my anxiety from my childhood. I don't like to be attached. I need to be somewhat detached to manage and I need to be leading. I can't be controlled. I got to be leading, um, at the working in a manufacturing company and I felt like I was just spiraling and like, I would get so far I did, I started, I would get so far and I would start over and it took me back to that news incident. And I'm like, what did, what was this lady? What was she doing? And I went back and I looked at my diploma, my social degree from my, from the junior college. And I say, how do I build upon. And I kept telling myself social work, social work. And I remember at the junior college, I had some great professors, um, Dr. Hammond, Dr. Robinson, I'm sure that both will be okay with me using their name. They V they encouraged me to continue. My academics actually adopt the Robinson taught with me when I bought my home. She tried to talk me out of doing it because she felt that buying that home was going to distract me for continuing my academics, that I would go back to my safe zone, to what I had learned as a child. she was correct. She was absolutely correct material. Things would tie you down and prevent you from moving forward. The idea of owning something that no one else in my family own was a plus in a hit.

Trevor: 36:00

sure.

Luvenia: 36:01

allowed me to say I've done something different yet. I haven't really advanced. And it did. I mean, I was set to go on to get my bachelor's. I decided not to, because I needed to pay for this property. I couldn't risk losing this property. What was people going to think about me? And so it delayed me progress. And with my academics, although financial, it allowed me to put a roof over my children aid. Now that's all the time was one child and Devon was born afterwards.

Trevor: 36:35

Right.

Luvenia: 36:36

What I did understand was well and what the wealth mean. And I think that's what the professors at the junior college was trying to teach me was to understand well on a continuum and not just wealth with material things. the manufacturer comes at it. That makes sense to me, like, you know what? You can have money and be poor. Especially growing up in a family where people didn't own property. Most family members ran it. Um, most family members

Trevor: 37:06

Hmm.

Luvenia: 37:07

didn't have a high school education and they also did multiples going into the military. And a lot of family was joining the military to escape poverty. I think I was one of a few other my generation who decided to continue and go to college. I could say on one of a few who decided to go and get them out. Hats off to men minimize my family members. Cause we had some very educated members in our families. We have nurses, we have doctors, we have dentists. We have a host of professionals, not within the family, we will be the first generation, which when I say first generation, I would say my first cousins, we would be the ones who start to break that cycle of not completing high school. And most of who went to college, we went after adulthood. We didn't go from high school directly into college that we very few of us will have had that experience and desk something. I want it to be able to afford my children. I want them to have the opportunity to go through high school, enjoy early adulthood with the experience of college are some other form of support in itself so that the older they got it wouldn't be no regrets about what I didn't get. And I find myself facing that a lot

Trevor: 38:31

Facing which a lot,

Luvenia: 38:33

regrets of not being able to do certain things. Um,

Trevor: 38:37

um,

Luvenia: 38:39

Georgia in 2008, and that was after a divorce at the start in my career at the fear. And the fact that I may be going bankrupt after getting my bachelor's degree, it still felt like I was in a spiral. I remember religion has always been a part of my life. My mother always taught faith in Christ and the belief in the savior, but. When I would go to church, I would mark in my scriptures what the pastor was talking about. And I can remember the same topics over and over and over and over and over and over yet, this big book that I'm given to read, we would only cover it. Maybe when 10,000 of that book, maybe I still have my swept as the DAS. They have had them on my shelf run up and they'll same passage. And when that was talked about, so I changed the nominations because I want it for my children to learn the fullness about gospel. And they are right to choose not based upon what man wanted, but based upon their principle and rights to choose their own destination. And I didn't want them growing up with this false sense that.

Trevor: 40:11

yeah. What, what, uh, what switch did you make? And I bet that one over super good with your family based on what I know about family and religion.

Luvenia: 40:23

I transfer. I transitioned from being part of a Southern Baptist convention to the latter day saints and becoming the Mormon that I still practice today. Um, it was a learning curve

Trevor: 40:36

Okay.

Luvenia: 40:38

and I'm not pushing religion on no one. So by no means I don't want no one to take it that way, but

Trevor: 40:45

Yeah.

Luvenia: 40:46

needed to understand why the different groups of people from Baptist to Protestants, to capitalists all stood at the same doctrine, but live different. And for me, LDS gave me that they gave me the fullness of the gospel my right to choose,

Trevor: 41:12

Mm.

Luvenia: 41:13

what a minister was telling

Trevor: 41:14

Hmm.

Luvenia: 41:15

not what a preacher of the deacons or the Deaconess as a member was telling me, my right to choose it was my destiny. It was my decision. It was my guidance to build that relationship with something greater than I could see based upon my knowledge. Nobody's screaming at me. Nobody's shoving it down my throats, but my right to read through it decide how to discipline.

Trevor: 41:47

Yeah, that's intense. I've heard Southern, I've never attended a Southern Baptist church myself, but I have, I had a sociology teacher in college, Dr. Shelton, also, I think he's from Alabama, but from the south. and he told us stories about being a young adult in the Baptist church and just, how bizarre and interesting it got and the yelling and the, the things that you mentioned without judgment, just that are interesting to somebody who's never, never attended it, but it sounds like it was a pretty big movement for you just to free up choice and strategy for not just yourself, but like you said, like your family.

Luvenia: 42:27

It made a, it had a great impact upon me. I stopped living in fear. I stopped. Living my life based upon what I thought others thought of me. I start judging my life upon what I wanted. You know, when I left south Georgia, my youngest son was maybe 12 twelve-ish, young teenage his father. And I had had a long-term relationship that had many ups and downs. I mean, things happened in that relationship that some people would ultimately serve prison time behind, but through it all, we formed a friendship to raise a child and to provide the best two parents could provide for a child. And I won't go into know the details about that.

Trevor: 43:26

Yeah.

Luvenia: 43:28

it was, uh, I had to make a tough.

Trevor: 43:30

Yeah,

Luvenia: 43:31

I had to decide if forcing my child to come to Alaska with me, allow him to live with his father, which would be the best of that child's interest. And ultimately, after sitting down and having an honest conversation with his father, we decided that he would stay with his dad and that if he didn't perform academically, he would move to Alaska. That was the one time in my life. I made a decision with no regrets that I made that decision about me and my family. And that became a strong point in my life and my career because I stop let him do world dictate who I am. And I started to show the world who I.

Trevor: 44:26

Which is a, not so subtle transition because we've talked a lot about your, your history. And there are so many places along the way, and I have a million questions. I always have a million questions, but, um, where do you find yourself now, from what I know is in an extremely cool position where you're about to retire from one big role and about to move into some other pretty big roles. And if you wouldn't mind, maybe just give us a FA a flash forward, because I think the contrast of where you started the story in your teenage years versus where you are now will help provide some context to anybody who's listening of why those little things that you've spoken about were so impactful because you are not just hanging out in Alaska. Is Joe social worker. You're doing some pretty big stuff, right? Like what are you involved in now? And where are you heading?

Luvenia: 45:34

Talk about me. Okay. I sometimes do this better.

Trevor: 45:39

Well,

Luvenia: 45:41

Um, here in Alaska, I am Alaska had been very rewarding to me. I worked 10 years for a top protective surface. I started out as a caseworker and advanced myself to be a, um, For not one but two field office. I met some great people along the way, some social workers, some with different bears professions, but a lot of respect for people who talk about top protective services you walked in those shoes, you have no idea what those caseworker face every day, the decisions they have to make. So I have to apply anyone who's working in that field. Some tough have to be made a split second, and there's no book debt can prepare you for what, when my C um, I commend with throughout my career as a chapter service worker for the state of left, I took a break. I quit work. I didn't work for about six months. I moved from Alaska to military. Because that was at another transition in my life of what's next. I left the six figure salary to$0. I lived off my savings. I just walked in that January. I walked in that January. Something happened at work. I gave a nine a day notice and amazing. My last day of work was on April fool's day and people thought it was a joke until I packed my office that day. And I live

Trevor: 47:25

Bye.

Luvenia: 47:26

in Minnesota. I started to reflect upon what do I want to do as a social worker? I have a mana as part of my master's in military social work. And I'm also did that because I wanted to understand the culture military. Hi, it impacted my family because so many of my family members served and I learned quickly a lot of respect to the military. Thank you all for your service. Those who are serving those who have served. Thanks to your feminist or to support that are being given while you're doing your mission. That is a responsibility that deserves. I made up a plot. I mean, we really need to think I'm not their families.

Trevor: 48:14

I completely agree. wholeheartedly, it's been so neat to be here in San Diego and be immersed in the military culture. I've learned so much, completely agree, not just, you know, the, the men and women who are active, but the families that are waiting to hear and are being moved to different cities constantly, which I'm sure is, you know, part of you are working with,

Luvenia: 48:39

It

Trevor: 48:39

with that minor.

Luvenia: 48:40

and.

Trevor: 48:41

I could go, I'm sure we could bounce for, for hours on how amazing and how truly, just how much goes on within that world.

Luvenia: 48:51

Yeah.

Trevor: 48:52

Talking to Tony

Luvenia: 48:53

I have a lot of,

Trevor: 48:54

so much respect for those families.

Luvenia: 48:56

I mean, I have so much more respect for military in what they do. I mean, the average American truly don't understand, and I'm not going to get on that topic because we would talk for hours, but there's someone at what I do now. Currently I manage, I'm a program manager for behavior health unit with serve acute psych at our local hospital. And I would see emission from the emergency department to our acute site unit. And because we don't treat children, obviously the case meant, uh, the professionals, as we would call ourself behavioral health, clinical professionals who do refer out for monitors, we can provide the support so 18 and older, we do referral off. And anyone on that age of 18. Currently I have a very luxury salary and a very luxury work schedule. I'm very grateful for the organization.

Trevor: 49:50

So let's, and we should pause there for a second to collab for you and to reflect on how far that you've come from working the factory and not knowing what's next and wandering around the streets at home, to all the decisions you made to get, to make the choice that you recently made, which I'm sure is coming next. But that's so awesome. Lavinia. That is, uh, that is Tony. Didn't put that in his thing in his submission for you, but that's a big deal just as a human, like you happen to be a mother of this wonderful person,

Luvenia: 50:28

Um,

Trevor: 50:28

but you are also this whole human being who has butt, uh, so many years. And in so many circumstances to now get to say with a big smile on your face. And also with maybe a hint of concern and fear about next that I am have this luxurious job that treats me so wonderfully with a great salary, by the way.

Luvenia: 50:54

thank you. I think now it's probably my first time to really reflect on the planet over the last 10 years. I really afforded myself a lifestyle that most people would dream of. And I'm not saying that boastfully not at all. I'm saying that with a lot of humility, I've been able to travel places I dreamed of. I often tease my kids cause they asked me about traveling. I say, if you're going to fly me, coach, forget it because I'm not flying. Coach for me is a luxury, a luxury that I afforded myself. Um, one designer, things that people could only think about to not only the only one home, but in the process of owning two homes that I can say I own not like I have a date, but I can say I'm owning. Um, that's without a mortgage. I mean, for me, that's a blessing from a person who didn't know what she was going to go to own into our homes. Um, to my next career decision. I'm very grateful from the hospital I worked for and I encourage anyone. If you see an advertisement for foundation health partners to really explore is the great I decided to work for. They afford opportunity for you to really advance your work. And your academics with support. It's a great organization. I'm truly grateful for the doctors I've worked with and the other professionals that I've encountered to my next career. Move I'm again, at that where you go from a luxury salary to how much money am I going to earn? Because

Trevor: 52:41

All right.

Luvenia: 52:41

have resigned from my current job. That'd become effective in January to start in my own agency. now at the stage where I want to that last chapter of my dream, and this helped them individual arise from their situation to where they want to be. And there's a difference there. I don't want people to think that you can come out of your situation to have. But abundance of money, no is changing where you're at to become into where you want to be yet. Whether that's gaining finances, gaining supports home on the ship, reconnecting with others. It took me a long time to decide what I wanted to do as a social worker. But what I do know is I want to give to my community that I live in and that's what a hands up consultant come in at. I'm not going to tell my clients I can help you get rich. I wish I would probably wouldn't work. But what I will tell others is I can help you make a change in your circumstances that you're at, that you can look at your life and lead your life. Often. What I find with others that behaviors lead. Versus the individual leading, once you, as the person start to lead, can change your behaviors. And that's what I learned throughout my journey

Trevor: 54:24

Hm.

Luvenia: 54:26

that the behaviors that were present have to control where I was going. So when I decided to continue my academics, of in social work, what I focused on. looked at the different theories and how it applied to the individual. And how did that apply to me as a

Trevor: 54:50

Hm.

Luvenia: 54:51

I could easily sit back and earn my salary retire by the age of 62 and live the same lifestyle I'm living today because I'm able to earn that amount money, but will that make me happy? Will I be satisfied? And that's to do that? Isn't it. No, I would not because money has never been a driving factor in my life. Being happy, being human, being able to love and give. And I think for me, that's what I was taught as a child. And that sorta got at me throughout the different struggles

Trevor: 55:36

Yeah.

Luvenia: 55:38

that I may have faced is that I still have to be human. So my next phase is how do I take everything I've learned and applied to my academics, to my social work career. And I decided that doing my own agency, opening up the doors to help individuals tap into their resources so that they can have. The basic of life. And I mean, we talk about the hierarchy. See, there are certain things in

Trevor: 56:17

Yeah.

Luvenia: 56:17

need as human food, water love, connection to humans. cannot live in this world without being connected to someone.

Trevor: 56:28

it loud for the people in the back.

Luvenia: 56:30

We've got to be connected to someone. And my goal is to help people connect those basic resources so that they can start those neglect next levels in life. And I'm telling it as a single mom growing up when I was 18, I hadn't had that basic foundation, I'd probably be in a different spot today than where I'm at, but I didn't know how to access and connect all of those basics shelter. Water resources. I didn't know how to connect of those that my basic needs could be met I can advance to that next level. They was all scattered for me.

Trevor: 57:16

I want to ask a question to that point about where you're going from the scattered piece. If there is somebody who at 58 minutes in here, we can clip out and send them a piece. If there's somebody who's in the scattered phase of where you felt like you were at with the resources, you know, now that are available in most communities, where that version of you have gone? Where would you want yourself to go to get those basic needs map? If you just had to go somewhere now, not knowing anything about somebody's circumstances, where should they start?

Luvenia: 57:51

I will find me a social worker. Honestly, I would, I would find me a social worker in my community because even if that social worker can't connect you to all those pieces, they can start connecting you with the people who can, what I've learned about social workers. And this has taken nothing for my other professional colleagues along the way. I love my LPCs. I love my psychologist. I love my sociologists. I love all my teachers or other helping professions. But what I know about social workers is that we're not afraid to pull in all those pieces and show how they overlaps. And if a person wants to get help on what do I start feel free. Reach out to me. My email is always open is my first name. L U V E N I a N a L l.com. I won't make no promise of guarantees, but I can tell you, I was thought to help direct you in a direction that you can start looking in your community to get the support and help you need.

Trevor: 59:04

Okay. And I'll, I'll link that in the show notes for here. And I'll also, uh, see if maybe there's some sort of like search to find this. it might be as simple as hyperlinking, a Google search that says social worker near me, because typing is sometimes tough because that's an

Luvenia: 59:21

Yeah.

Trevor: 59:22

step and action steps are not easy. If you are spiraling and scattered, clicking easy links is what's accessible. Um, and I know that there's, this is relevant, um, to. Me and my family too, because there are some people going through some stuff in my, my own family, but I also know that during the winter, everywhere that people get out of sorts. So regardless of what that means for you, I think it's, um, important. And I, and I knew you were going to say social worker and I'm glad you did.

Luvenia: 59:54

And I say that because it's like you said, it's the field that people don't think of. But what I've learned about social work since 2003, is that they're in almost every field of practice, the social workers in the medical field, in the school setting, in the behavioral health setting, even in manufacturing settings, even in our professional athletes, this, on the poor social workers, in all the different arenas in areas to help people. Navigate their life. I'm not going to say a social. We're going to have all the answers, but they can sit down with you as set plans and goals to help you find the answer. What I've learned in this profession and professional is I'm the expert of my life. If I'm the expert of my life, I don't need someone else telling me all the answers. I may need someone to listen for me. It helped chart what I'm saying so that I can see the different dots and areas where I'm at and to come up with the plan to help me get there.

Trevor: 1:01:07

Yeah to provide some doors, that is truly, uh, in, in to anybody who haven't. So be listening. the thing that you'll find really quickly, if you talk to social workers is the heart is as big as it can be in most social workers, because like Lavinia, their prime objective, is generally. To pay bills. Don't get it wrong about not wanting to make money, but also it's done. You don't get in to social work to, to become extremely wealthy in terms of finance. You, you get in most people I have learned from in the social work field, choose that field so they can be wealthy in terms of knowledge and resources. and, and that is why you should find a social worker. I have a question, a really pointed question for you, because you mentioned a lot of things early about where you were at in the backgrounds of your family. Um, and specifically on your, on your mother's side, where there was more of a dedication to hard work. And I'm guessing along with. Came more silence about issues than on for instance, your father's side, where it was more middle-class and there probably a little bit more open about things. If you find yourself in environment where reaching out for help is seen as failure, how, how, what words do you have to help that person who feels that way? Because I know that there's a lot of people that feel that way.

Luvenia: 1:02:34

no trail. I'm going to share something with you that I probably haven't shared with one other person. And that's my best friend. And she's no longer with me, but I guess she started speaking to me today. When you ask that question, people look into my life and they say this well-rounded young, aged African-American woman. Who's overcome. At varsity and became successful. What they don't see is the scared person who was suicidal for years. I mean, that was one point in my life where I took out a massive insurance policy and plot at my own death for two years, because I knew I had to couldn't complete suicide within the first two years. Other insurance wouldn't pay, but it would pay in my sons would have been very well taken care of because they would have come into a large financial inheritance. I always wanted the best for my two sons. And at one point I thought if I could give them million dollars to start their life, they would be better off than having. And when I say I truly planned it and it wasn't until my son and I won't say which one of the two reached out one day, just on a phone call and said, mom, I need you. I really need you. I'm going through a lot. And we talked for days in about the issues that my son was faced with at that time that made me realize life meant more than material and finance. It made me realize then that I needed to reach out and ask for help. It made me realize that a solid voice isn't always the best option. There's a time when you may need to be quiet. And there a time when you need to be vocal, everybody I've met, go through something. And when you're going through that, something you have to be willing to ask for help. And no one else knows a person don't know the ask you. If you're hungry, a person don't know to ask you if you're homeless, but if you're willing to say I need help, can you help me in identify your needs more than likely there's someone in your community who can help? What I have learned in both my professional and personal life. That if the person don't ask, uh, say something, others don't know where to start at. So. Being able to walk into a, to set a call or even text. What have you got to do, identify what your need is and ask for help. That's a lot of support in almost every community I've visited. If you're genuine is a sear and willing to identify your knees and ask for help it's available. That's what I love so much about my peers, my LPCs, my psychologists, my sociologists, my doctor, my nurses, my educators is whatever my needs are. If I go to those individuals, whether it's in my church, within my own internal family, learning to ask for help growing up. And I look at my maternal family. I think the biggest hurdle. That kept most of my family in their circumstances is we was too proud to ask for help. We was taught to work hard and depend upon the cell versus saying, Hey, can you help me? Can you watch my child while I go to work? Can you feed my child? Because I don't have groceries in my refrigerator. Will you pay my electric? So my lights don't get turned off because I don't have money that would, that sense of work hard But that was that lack of education of being able to ask for help.

Trevor: 1:07:23

Wow. I am grateful for you and you've been here. Um, and for you sharing that, that's a lot of information to process. Um, and I'm proud of you for saying it out loud because I know that that's not easy.

Luvenia: 1:07:49

I'm sure I would get many calls from friends and families. Like I said, talking about myself. Is that something I like to do? I like helping others. I like helping people solve their own problems. I don't like focusing on me. I mean, that's both professionally and personally. I've always tried to live a very humbling and private life away. What individuals don't know is I was nominated by governors and to state and received governor awards for my work. I don't like talking to them. I felt like I was doing what I was to do. I have children that I'm very

Trevor: 1:08:38

Also what you worked hard to do.

Luvenia: 1:08:40

I have two that I'm very proud of. I could talk all day about my kids and glow like a light bulb, but talking about the cell. But when you reached out to me

Trevor: 1:08:53

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:08:53

I was reading through some of the things you presented that we would talk about, I asked myself, what would you really like to give to people? What would you really like them to know? In the one thing was honesty. I wanted people to see me as a person and someone who was going to be honest. One of the hardest thing it is for our community to talk about now is suicide. And the African-American. We don't want to talk about it is sometimes sorta feel taboo. It's like talking about insects and in some households we've been talking about six. There are certain thing in African-American cultures that we really don't talk about anymore. That is you ever heard of that thing? What happened in the house? Stay in the house. It's still sort of exists and we need to start talking about it. No one. And when I tell you trouble, no one would have known I was suicidal because what they saw was a woman with the Samala or face education style class, even my children didn't know. Um, they're close to my sons. They're like, I won't say my best friend because they're my kids. And I remind them every day of. Don't try me, but even my children didn't know I was suicidal. My sister and we're like Sammy twins almost didn't know I had reached that break in my life because everybody has seen me overcome so much adversity that there was no way I could be in that position, but it still existed. It happened.

Trevor: 1:10:50

yeah.

Luvenia: 1:10:51

So when I think about my life moving forward, I say, what can you give people? I want to give people hope and opportunity and assets to what are your basic needs because often people forget about basic needs and they go to all these other levels of care in these.

Trevor: 1:11:13

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:11:14

What are your basic needs and how do we get back to address a no base that needed me to know basic needs? So though the levels of stages can become fulfilling because that's what I found in life. Once I met my basically needs, I started into that realm of myself realization. Who am I? What can I do beyond myself now? But being able to transition if I, if Christ came to me today and say, okay, Lavinia, I've given you 52 years on earth. Now I want to bring you back with me. I wouldn't bargain for life. I wouldn't. I went and plead for, give me one more day. Uh, give me another minute. I could, Gresser say I'm ready to take my position because I feel like I live a fulfilled. It may not be to other people's standards, but it will be to my standards. I can honestly say of the goals I set in life I've been able to achieve. And I think that comes back to the original conversation of looking at the two different families, which had the greatest influence. I would have to say both one prepared me to live in a wall of poverty. The other one prepared me to live in a world where I would have to have a voice. And by merging the two, I became the person I am. I have, I know when I need to talk. And I know when I need to be quiet.

Trevor: 1:12:54

Well, I

Luvenia: 1:12:55

Okay.

Trevor: 1:12:55

glad for your talking, um, uh, about the, just saying things you, you've mentioned a few times now, the connecting piece, and you've talked in different ways about it, but when you, when you talked about mental health and specifically within the African-American community and the other issues that are maybe taboo within the African-American community, I know from hearing and learning that there are many topics that are taboo within ethnic communities of all types, and it is. Really wonderful that you are going to be in a position or have been in a position to bring those up and to talk about them. Um, it's, I think hard for any or any community to talk about suicide. then you add in the layers on layers of stay silent and keep your head down for hundreds of years within the African-American community. And I cannot even imagine challenging it would be for people hear or say about it. and I, I really, really appreciate you bringing it up. And I, I hope that maybe in the future, we could even partner to find a way to help keep bringing it up, suicide. I have my own mental health struggles and it was really tough for me to listen, but I really appreciated you bringing it up. Um, and I, I know how impactful it will be for people to hear your honest truth about both things about both your success and about how low it's gotten, um, about how tough it is within your community to say something, but also how empowering and how helpful it can be to say things out loud and to connect with someone it's, um, it's really, really amazing for you to say that.

Luvenia: 1:14:59

the one thing I'll want to share with who had the opportunity to hear us talk today. I don't care. How successful, when may become mental health, measured upon success. There are people with millions of dollars who struggle with their mental health that people would in, in poverty, struggle with mental health, linking yourself with support, whether that's informal or formal. I want to talk about those informal supports because for me, that's what got me through those darkest moments of my life. I had therapists that I have connection with. Those are my forms of support. work with these people day in and day out. It was easy for me to pick up a phone and talk with a therapist, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a nurse, someone, the hard part for me was picking up that phone and talking with those informants support. family, my friends, my neighbor, it was my neighbor who got me through it. And my best friend,

Trevor: 1:16:16

Really.

Luvenia: 1:16:17

my neighbor saw me daily in what compliment on like, he, I'm going to disclose it as a male used to say, I just admire you every day. You're so dressed up. You're so well put together. And my neighbors saw that I left home about the same time every day and got home about the same time. My neighbor almost knew my routine, which days I was going to go buy my groceries, days I was going to spend my time out, socializing, whatever. But all of a sudden my neighbor wasn't seeing me in that normal. It became concerned. And my neighbor, we spoke, Hey, how you doing today? Gentle wave, no long conversations. Just those split seconds of interaction that you have with people. But when my neighbor was no longer getting that interaction, he became worried and came up one day with meals with food. When my late neighbor later disclosed to me was he had researched and learned that in African-American communities, food was a staple. So if you want to get to know somebody, you bring food. And because my neighbor wasn't stealing me as my user itself, he did what he stereotype beliefs take food. But my neighbor thought I was ill physically with some health problems. But what my neighbor didn't realize was that was a turning point for me. I felt like. Somebody cares somebody outside my children or my mom or my sibling that somebody care about me as a human being, that my behavior was making a difference in someone else's life. I didn't know that my day-to-day decor made a difference for my neighbor, that my neighbor would get up early enough just to see me go off to work and come home. That that was a highlight of my neighbor's day with we continue. We stay in touch. Now we keep in touch. We continue to talk over the years since that incident. Um, my best friend who passed away a little over two years ago, she and I have always called each other at odd hours when we was going through things. It would pretty much since when the other one was going through something. I think she called me shortly after my neighbor had. And tell me she was worried that she just had this inner gut to reach out to me. And we talked for hours in and I was out. And I finally decided that, you know, professionally, you got to do something about this. You help people day in and day out, you know, the ropes, you know what to do, but the informal support for what was missing, because that's what I needed. I needed family and friends to just embrace me without questioning me. And that's what I also like about my denomination is that I get a support without people questioning me. I get the sisters who visit me and offer to help do things and people who just reach out and say, let's get together socially. They don't ask questions. They allow me to present. And I know if I need to go to my Bishop, that it's in confidential to cover the reality that what my Bishop and I talk about is between the Bishop than I, when I'm going through those tough moments. And I need that patriarchal blessing that I got someone I can go to from a spiritual point, because spirituality is very important to me is, is part of my culture is part of my upbringing. And so having that form of support means a lot to me being able to go there and have those safe zones in social work and the professor, while we talk about safe zones a lot, but we don't really define what that really is. So for me to have places I can go in. That these individuals are there for me and not because they're getting paid. I, because it's part of their profession, but that there for me, if, for me, that's what safe zone is, is what, where can I go in the person that's going to be present with me with nothing to gain out of it. Other than being present with me.

Trevor: 1:21:09

That is, uh, I want to tell you that your name, the story of your neighbors, incredible, by the way. And I think highlights a point that is overlooked so frequently, which is just ask, um, because it is true as it is about people asking for help. It's I think equally true of asking if someone is okay, asking if someone needs help. I would say especially this time of year, but I think any time of year, I would highlight this time of year with the holidays and the extra stress that comes with it of, of just checking in with people a little bit extra is without a doubt, um, important. And it sounds like in no case. Potentially more important than it was for you on that day, that your neighbor did a little homework and, uh, and tried to come up with the right connecting point, uh, which is, is quite credible. Uh, and I also want to compliment you, on passing that along again your son does that with me frequently. we've worked together for two issue years and our relationship has grown a lot, especially in the last year or so. And, um, he, he or I reach out to each other at least a few times a week, even though we don't work together anymore. Like we went bowling yesterday and just hung out. Um, but him, him reaching out and say, how's it going like that, was a, I think Thursday before we decided what we were going to do this weekend. And. As you mentioned has such a big impact because, um, you know, the people who are paid to, you know, have a weekly counselor and great guy, but he also gets paid to do it. Um, and my mom and my dad are great people, they're sort of stuck with me. So they have to pick up the phone kind of, uh, it means just so much to get to the end of a phone call with, with Tony or, or my buddy, Chris and my cousin, Chris, or, know, people who are close to you and get off that call and remember that it's meaningful for you to be in their life too. And to remind you in the tough moments that it does matter if you're here, it does matter that you know, money is not going to replace that. Um,

Luvenia: 1:23:38

You know,

Trevor: 1:23:38

and, uh, I, I hope yeah, go ahead.

Luvenia: 1:23:43

it's amazing because as we talk and I reflect about upon being the mother, I have two kids and I say, what is my day? Tyler one is my nighttime. Um, and Tanya would be my day child. And Devon would be my night child. It's amazing that Devon is the one who out there reminds me that you're a great mom, but sometimes what I need isn't from mom. I needed from the other person in you. Because other than when my children call me and they want something, I go in mama's. Automatically mommy mode, Devon, up to remind me that

Trevor: 1:24:27

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:24:27

just need you to listen. And I think that's why I find the balance in life and with my career is knowing when I need to talk and knowing when I need to just listen. just

Trevor: 1:24:43

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:24:44

and I was talking to him, he was like, at the woman you are. And he said, sometimes I think I searched for a mate. Who's like you and I have to say no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. You have a mama, I'm your mama forever. I need you to find somebody who balance you. And I think that's what Antonio or Tony, I'm going to say. Tony have been able to do, I think for a long time. He did. I think in his relationship, he looked for his mother, but once he was able to sell, mom is here and she's not going anywhere. Now I need to find a partner.'cause mama gonna mama. Me, the apartment is gonna be Bob side, me and walk this journey a life with me. And I think with both of the boys, that's what they've been able to find is I have my mother, I need you to be my partner. And I'm so proud of them for that, that they've been able to step back in life and realize I don't need nobody to be in that lady. She got that down pat, and that they're not trying to replicate our relationship and other relationships because that's what I've always wanted. I think the one thing as a mother I wanted was for my children to have more than what I. And I think the one part in my life that I am missing is a relationship with a significant other, a partner. I sought a close the doors on that chapter in my life because I felt like I was trying to protect my children from another failure or heartbreak. And when relationships don't last often children feel the pain of that relationship failure. So I applaud them for being able to do a little more. And that was the one thing I was telling my children in life. I wanted, I wanted them to do more than I did in life. And I think I'm seeing that because they are in stable relationships, they're building family and legacies and a part of me feel like that's the part of my life. I wasn't so successful in because I had a 14 year old long-term relationship that didn't last. I divorced from my ma from my spouse, who somehow is my best friend. Now we're not married. We're not in a relationship at all. So I don't want that to be misunderstood. Well, not, we don't have a personal relationship, but we are very close friends. We talk all the time. Um,

Trevor: 1:27:43

That counts by the way. That's relationship.

Luvenia: 1:27:46

that's some, one other things I would want for people in, uh, in the African-American culture to realize is marriage is a lot of work. And when we take that commitment, got to understand it's like a job and that's something I didn't understand. Growing up that marriage is a job. It takes a little. And I had given so much that I wasn't ready to give no more in a marriage. So I'm content with being single, because I'd rather give that energy in other aspects. And maybe later in life, able to take some of that energy and devoted to that part.

Trevor: 1:28:38

Yeah, for sure. And who, who knows too, when you consider the path you've taken so far in your life, uh, or the many paths that you found yourself on? Um, you know, not to be a predictor of anything, but, but you have. Unlocked so many doors along the way that, uh, I am just positive that your younger self couldn't have imagined was possible. And certainly not your parents, um, in your family, maybe your grandparents, but, um, you have routinely bucked expectation even of your own expectations. So just say, and I wouldn't be so, uh, I wouldn't place any bats, um, and nos over the next five years for you because, uh, you, you have so much

Luvenia: 1:29:32

yeah,

Trevor: 1:29:32

to draw on to just say that. Yeah, the stability and the sameness

Luvenia: 1:29:38

I have goals for the next five years. I never count out marriage and I tell them one of them, because I don't know what my higher power has in store for me that aspect. But over the next five years, I really want to focus on building my agency, the other, my business. I really want to focus on

Trevor: 1:30:03

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:30:04

continue to help develop a healthy community that I live in. Whether that's here in Alaska, someone else, I want to be a

Trevor: 1:30:12

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:30:13

on making that community healthy. I've lived in poverty. I know what it's like to wonder where my next meal would come from. Uh, if I would have a shelter over my head, I know what it's like to be ill and not be able to go to the doctor. I know what it's like to be a struggling mom. I know what it's like to be afraid. So over the next five years, I want to create a resource. That can be there for someone who's facing no dynamics who can help tap into resources to release some of those stresses. Just even if you pick up the,

Trevor: 1:31:05

And that's the hands up, help.

Luvenia: 1:31:08

to be, someone call me and say, Hey, I don't have groceries today. What can I do to be able to say, Hey, there's this resource in your community? Or can we have food delivered to you? So I'm looking at a lot of options with hands up is very new. It's growing. It's gonna, it's becoming, but I have this vision of how do I help that call on that phone? And over the next five years, I will dedicate my time to build a net resource that when I get that call. I can respond in a positive way.

Trevor: 1:31:50

I have a detailed question about that. When you talk about the next five years and you think about all the possible calls to. There's the, of course the calls that are within the focus that you've already defined. And then, you know, from your own work in the field, that there are calls that you can't possibly predict where they're going to go and what they're going to be about and what they're going to need and what their circumstances will be. What is the response that you are hoping to get that will help you know, that you've been successful with that person? Like if they're going to call you back or write you a letter, you're hoping to hear Levenia Mrs. Johnson, Ms. Johnson, I, this X, Y and Z happened. What do you want them to tell you on the phone? Like, how will, you know, if you've been successful?

Luvenia: 1:32:41

How would I measure success? I haven't fully thought that part out, but if I look back on my track record, I think the success will come in knowing that I did my best at that moment. Um, I've learned that sometimes the Cisco's unmeasured and that my greatest moment is success is when I'm able to look back and see the difference that I've made. And they're not things that I can measure on. For example, I would say my years in child protective services, I don't know if I could measure the success I had that, but I often hear others. I work with talk about, oh, you did such great work here. And I think that's what the success measurement may have came in at years after with hands up. I think the

Trevor: 1:33:48

sure.

Luvenia: 1:33:49

would be, as I see my vision come to life, like I said, it's very brand new and I'm in the process of writing out the policies and procedures. I have my vision and my mission, not as getting everything else into play as I start to do the work. I think another area of success will be when I see my. I just didn't move from my home to his own office.'cause I got to have a balance between work and my personal life, and I would get so bogged down at work. I forget about me. I think for me, the measure sets has come when, when the only thing I'm doing is focusing on a hands up because now I'm still between part-time employment in my building my agency, because I gotta pay my bills. I gotta pay the mortgage. I've got to pay. So when I'm primary focus just on my own brand, I think that's when I could start measuring. But what I have put in place is I have created evaluations while I will ask people to evaluate the services offer. So the, I know they focus and on track of what I'm doing and not get so sidetracked by everything.

Trevor: 1:35:18

Sure.

Luvenia: 1:35:19

At some point, I'm sure hands up, become more narrow on what services we are able to deliver. And I have my idea of what those services are gonna be, because I know relation, I want to target. I really want, at some point hands up what be to agency at some point, that would be a up area links to change that would focus on single parenting, because I really want to serve that population.

Trevor: 1:36:02

Yeah,

Luvenia: 1:36:03

I want single parents to be able to flourish in their role and it's feasible, but all those single parents out there is feasible and I am an. Of that success.

Trevor: 1:36:20

that is excellent. people want to support the hands of help, it's a it's a not-for-profit right?

Luvenia: 1:36:28

It will be

Trevor: 1:36:29

Or is it an LLC?

Luvenia: 1:36:31

it's LSE right now, um,

Trevor: 1:36:33

Okay.

Luvenia: 1:36:34

is very new and we're starting up, I'm creating a website for it. I'm in that designing phase. So over time that will be more and more about it and more and more publications for now. I'm just focusing on getting it up and running and set into directions in which the agency.

Trevor: 1:36:54

okay. If people that are listening want to do one thing that will support the work you do in general? Well, hands up help is getting going. What is one thing that you would suggest people can do in their family or their community? Um, that would be a helpful thing the spirit of Lavenia.

Luvenia: 1:37:15

What I would ask people to do. And I've done this year after year is for the month of December or in a month of the year, I would say, choose one month of the year and select one parish. We're not a good product, put it on a box. And at the end of the month, take it to your local food bank. I, I will ask that you donate to help support a family.

Trevor: 1:37:41

Okay. will make sure we have some links in the show notes so they can find a place near them to donate, food to those in needs and specifically to families in needs.

Luvenia: 1:37:52

just very briefly. I say that because

Trevor: 1:37:56

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:37:56

that's part of a hands up. If you ever went to bed hungry, that is a pain that is so hard to race. Well then as an adult or child going to bed, hungry is painting. So being able to feed someone to ease that pain can make a difference in a person's life. So please, if you can donate food to a food bank, a local shelter organization that feed the hungry, please support people with food is very important.

Trevor: 1:38:40

yeah. can only imagine. Only imagine no concept of that. Um, and I'm grateful for that. So we will pass that along. I am looking forward to to stay in touch with you and as up, help, continue to develop, maybe having you back on so we can promote and talk about it because I imagine your state of mind a month from now on January 6th, it will be different. And I imagine as we get into the spring, that it will be even more different as you have time to focus on those areas. I also have. A litany of questions that I still want to ask, but also have been given advice that I should try to be more respectful about listeners' time. So they want to listen. So I don't want to do all the wonderful things you've already shared in injustice by stretching it too long, but Levenia, it's been a true honor to speak with you to record with you, to have spent now. Cause we talked for about an hour prior, now almost three hours of my life talking to you has been amazing. it's been at least what I hoped it would be by knowing your son. I don't need to validate you to tell you how awesome you are and how amazing, the son that I know is, uh, but he is, an awesome person. He has impacted my life. Greatly. So, thank you for giving the world him. Thank you for being with the world through your hardest times so that you can now share all of the wonderful things you have been through and all of the hard things you have

Luvenia: 1:40:27

Yeah.

Trevor: 1:40:27

through also in hopes of creating a vision for hope for success, which is there are going to be very few people who I ever get to talk to who embody in the conversation, what I hoped to do and what I hope to do with common leaders more than you have today. When you spoke about being honest about who you are as a whole person, and about overcoming expectations, whatever those things might be. Because, what I set out with a hope of doing was recognize that. Lots of people aren't going to be able to relate to me. I've been very fortunate. I grew up with a lot of awesome things. Like I, I haven't gone hungry. I haven't experienced a lot of the things you spoke about today. and so I wouldn't want to claim to be somebody who can inspire someone who's in that circumstance that would be silly. I hoped to connect with people with your amazing ability to speak and inspire, but also be relatable in a very different way than I am. thank you so much for that because, you you've just bring so much to the table and your hard times are included in that. And I really, really appreciate that.

Luvenia: 1:41:47

Trevor. I want to thank you. Um, a lot is, as I said, it's very hard for me to talk about myself and you made it easy for me often. If someone want me to talk about myself, I will do. A lot. And I'm sure Tony probably shared that with you as well. Um, I am, I'm very honored to be toned as mom. he became the young man I envisioned, and I'm very proud that he found his way. I mean, he gave a lot of credit to me. I give credit to my savior, but I give credit to him. he knew he was a leader and he found his way to blossom. And I'm very grateful for that. I'm very grateful for his partner. I mean, it takes a lot for those who know,

Trevor: 1:42:45

a team.

Luvenia: 1:42:50

if you truly know. It takes a strong person to walk beside him. So I'm grateful for his friends in those, in his life, because if Tony is anything like his mother, sometimes it takes a lot of energy and time to challenge that person to stay focused and to stay in LA. I do look forward to maybe doing a later podcast while we talk a little bit more about hands up. Cause I have a lot of visions about what hands up will become. I didn't go into a lot of details yet because it's up and coming and I want to be able to launch it in its fullest.

Trevor: 1:43:30

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:43:31

I do look forward for the next chapter in my life and what's next. a little uncomfortable going in leaving my cushion salary job to generate a new type of income because I become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. But I also know I'm not afraid of work. I'm not afraid of starting over. And if anyone out there listen today, I want people to take away not being afraid to start where you're at and start a new job. You're not starting over in life is not a new beginning. It's just a new chapter. That's so many adversities that I can talk about about life and that I can share and we didn't get into a lot of it. And the podcast is about us building upon our conversation. And that's one of the great things about it. Maybe later date sometime. We'll talk about things such as rape. Uh, we'll talk about suicide. We'll talk about mental health. We'll talk about poverty. I do want at some point to sit down and talk with you simply do a part cast on rape is surviving sexual assault, because I think that was a pivotal turning point in my life. And

Trevor: 1:44:54

Yeah.

Luvenia: 1:44:55

how as a person. You can build a pun, although adversities, but I do. I thank you so much for keeping me focused today that I didn't make Tony, uh, Devin others to topic because so often I do. I don't, I don't, I really don't like talking about myself.

Trevor: 1:45:21

Well, I appreciate you covering all the things that you covered and I would be and honored if, I could even be a part of sharing your wisdom and your experience and your suggestions to people who have gone through those types of circumstances. it, it would be amazing for us to continue a conversation of any type, whether it's recorded or not. Levenia thank you so much.